sivananda yoga vedanta dhanwanthari ashram

so, i wanted to share a little bit about my time at the ashram...
it started off just feeling like a group of tourists, or like summer camp, but with some rituals that i had no idea about or what they meant. it took a while for me to be able to break away some of the layers and soften my heart and be open to God and spirituality fully again. i feel like all the craziness of india (even though it is supposed to be a spiritual place) had caused anxiety in me and made me harden. as my body opened up and felt the benefits of 4 hours of yoga asana and pranayama (breathing excercizes) and my mind settled down, i was able to turn to God more fully. i met a girl from seattle named Michelle and we talked a lot about intuition and energy in the body and spirit, which are both God-given and both things i want to learn more about. she and i were almost instantly comfortable and it felt like we had been friends for a long time, and will continue to be. i learned about and felt the energy and vibrations that different things can bring to your body and spirit, like food and music and chants. i not only learned about the chakras, but felt mine being stimulated and opened... a crazy energy radiating from my forehead. i knew it was God showing me more about the intuition he had given me to be able to follow him and love others better. as the time went on, everyone seemed to open up and become more comfortable with themselves and each other. we had 2 special pujas (ceremonies), one in a temple, where we chanted a lot and offered flowers and the other was a purification ceremony for the whole ashram and everyone in it. there was a special priest there who was cleansing the space there and all of us. we had a chance to make an offering to the fire of something in our lives that we wanted to give up to God and to be purified. the atmosphere of the room changed from somber to very light and free when it was all over. we all truely knew that we had been cleansed. i went from being very skeptical of the chants and rituals and feeling like "my religion" was too different to realizing that if you are worshiping God in your own heart, He knows and that is all that matters. some of the things we did, like the fire offering, were both symbolic, yet so real and powerful. I found that through chanting i can really open my heart and mind and become more intune with the Lord. i also realized how important it is to quiet your mind each day to be able to listen. i feel like i have woken up once again to life and to God. when we have so much blocking our heart and weighing it down, it truely is impossible to love and be open to others, yourself or God. There is so much i am ready to explore and learn about for my future, i feel like i have been recharged and am ready to push myself and be challenged and grow and love, and all the while depend on God and follow his guidance in my life.